Statement of My Financial Position

PS

2009-12-01T06:29:00.000-08:00

and btw, I would want to vote for someone who knows how to smile the right way. and it's so sad to know that soldiers do know how to cry but they were trained to not feel anything. It hurts.

Defining derivatives to the nth time of your chaotic life

2009-12-01T05:13:00.000-08:00

November 6, 2009 - BFF's party at Manor Superclub in Eastwood.

November 7, 2009 - 1st long test in FINMAT1.

November 8, 2009 - Yume Chai's Debut (in which i was not able to attend)

November 18, 2009 - watched 2012 with Lady Gaga and Katy Perry

November 19, 2009 - Maybe people just want chaos for the sake of something to do. Maybe people loves noise as much as they hate it. Maybe people rather find happiness in money than doing their passion and earn nothing. Maybe that person is me.

November 25, 2009 - made a decision that will change my life forever.

December 1, 2009 - just this day. I think I'm the crappiest person alive. I can't even define what i like, i love and i want. I have a very bad vibe about my finance subjects. It's hell raised to infinity. My mood everyday is like..ughh, numbers.. I eat numbers for breakfast. it sucks, guys. it actually sucks. I need a hiatus. A very very strict hiatus. :\

***

I am not a registered voter and i am such a loser. bow. But I have my pambato and it's GIBO. very educated and well-mannered person. I think majority of the youth wants him. It's because we want change and we know that the one who's capable of being a president does the walk and not the talk. It's not about family genes. c'mon, think guys. A reason such as 'eh kasi mabait siya' and 'hindi siya corrupt' are stupid reasons. We can not vote for someone who can not even stand against his younger sister, for crying out loud. How about voting for the sister na lang? maybe, better. Everyone would be required to wear signature clothes and accompany a bald gay. nice.
Then i just learned that about one hundred and thirty plus people are actually running for RP presidency? anong kagaguhan ito? I just hope it would be trimmed down to only two candidates so as to have the majority votes and not the plurality. kawawa si Bayani Fernando, nanalo lang ng celebrity duets akala mo mananalo din for presidency. Excuse me, ayoko ng pink Philippines, okay? I just hope people would be able to see. Please do not be blind. One wrong move and we'll be doomed. and please no, not Edu Manzano.

***

I shout justice for the Maguindanao massacre. So harsh. So inhumane. Fuck you assholes.

it was brave but much more foolish

2009-11-05T07:20:00.000-08:00

sorry kitty. i wasn't able to update you. :( I promise, prolly this weekend. :)
just don't get tired of waiting for me. you're my very very loyal confidante.
I have lots of things to tell you. bye for now.

FISHERMAN, It's not a good catch

2009-10-25T03:39:00.000-07:00

Dust dust. If it would be back in to dust, we shouldn't have gathered it in the first place. dust dust, back again to dust.

***

My eyes. they tell me to sleep. to save my words for tomorrow but I can't. you know blog, err okay I'll call you kitty like what anne frank called her diary, I have so many things to tell you. I'm sorry if I had forgotten you for weeks and ages. I'm so sorry. I just can't find the right time to blog because my acads are demanding as ever.

Let me start with Ondoy. That event was so depressing. I never ever realized that such a thing would happen after a one whole day of continuous downpour of rain. It's like the end of Manila. Bayani Fernando and other unresponsible officers got kicked in their asses when the president talked in a presscon full of rage. Serves them right. Thousands of people suffered. The rich and the poor. And still, the same people who fail to do their duty have the guts to steal from the funds allocated for the Ondoy victims. YOU, ASSHOLES.

Even my beloved school was submerged into water. And it's like A(H1N1) all over again with the one-week break. hello make up classes. tss. My very enthusiastic brain became idle and started to be lazy again. I forgot everythng. wew, thanks Ondoy. People are now so panicky whenever it rains. even the lightest of rains.

***

You don't tell a person how much you love them and expect that they would believe you after. Then again, people just come and go. you're there but eventually you'll be gone. I know.

***

Helen's debut slash pool party slash dance party slash [insert whatever happened]. Itwasohsofun. I got to see my highschool friends again after a year. really. boo. some loser i am. So many things have happened. well, I just have to say it's fun and you have to define it for me.

***

I can't believe that I actually processed a leadership seminar, facilitated and became a speaker. lol. It was all for my beloved org, Writers' guild. Anyway, It's all worth it. Thanks also to all the people who helped me. I love you guys, I swear. being an officer is really stressing but FTW. Just being a responsible officer. and oh please, not an impromptu seminar again okay? :)

***

My HUMALIT is just plain BV. With all the loser scores i got. that's enough to make your day a bad one. c'mon, it's literature and it's not supposed to be this way. oh well, in my case i should be enjoying my literature class because I fuckin' love literature up to its tiny bits. well, anyway, there's this poetry recital requirement that we have to present in class with a memorized poem. HA-HA. I can't decide on what poem because i simply love everything! I ended up with Anne Sexton's A curse against Elegies. The poem is about something that's already dead or something that have already ended in the past but someone keeps on bringing it back and anne's tired of hearing the same thing again. she doesn't want it back. It has died. It's already dead. It must not come back. The past is something that we must bury. I heard that Anne Sexton is suffering from bipolar disorder due to all the depressing things that happened to her. Even though, I still love all her masterpiece. she's plain wonderful. I mean her genre is about death, sex and masturbation. A bit of mature but really interesting stuff. You should get some dose of Anne sexton.

***

A true leader gives chance to others.You already proved yourself. let him prove his.

***

I think I should go see 500 days of summer. The reviews are nice. I think I could somewhat relate. lol. like the part wherein, Summer, the girl, only loves two things: her long black hair and how she can cut it off right away without feeling anything. that's cool.

and by the way, read this. :) a bit of 500 days of summer.

McKenzie: [drunk] So do you have a boyfriend?

Summer: No.

McKenzie: Why not?

Summer: Because I don’t want one.

McKenzie: Come on; I don’t believe that.

Summer: You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy being free and independent?

McKenzie: Are you a lesbian?

Summer: [laughing] No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.

McKenzie: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Summer: Really?

McKenzie: Nope.

Summer: Ok, let me break it down for you–

McKenzie: Break it down!

Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.

McKenzie: You’re a dude. [to Tom] She’s a dude!

Tom: Ok but wait–wait. What happens, if you fall in love?

[she scoffs]

Tom: What?

Summer: You don’t believe that, do you?

Tom: It’s love, it’s not Santa Claus.

Whenever you seek me

2009-10-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

I want to share a poem with you :) I just realized that if it's hard to find words to explain what you feel, express it through poems or songs. I found it while searching for Pablo Neruda's poems. I also found some Anne Sexton's poems and they're really beautiful. And hey, I want to greet Jerome Lingad! hello, :) I'm sort of flattered knowing that you're actually reading my blog. Do not worry, I'll update this weekly as what you have requested so that you have something to do in the web.

If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

It has been a long time my blog! i miss you :)

2009-10-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

The Bottom Line

There's almost guaranteed to be a little mystery somewhere in the world around you.

In Detail

You have every right to your feelings, no matter what they are -- and you have every right to express them. Plus, you know how to express them better than most. You have the great ability to put things in a very tactful way, so say what you mean -- you don't have to worry about how people react. That's not your responsibility, anyway. If their feelings get hurt or they take issue with things, that's because of some issue or unresolved problem they need to deal with.

We need to help them. We have to.

2009-09-29T02:40:00.000-07:00

*If you want to help, this is the list of Emergency Hotlines and Relief Operations around Manila or QC.

*If you're a Lasallian, visit this.

and also please read the one below.

Also, we have no classes until October 3, 2009 so please use your time to help out our countrymen.

Let us pray for everyone.
And please be safe.
Thank you.

Consortium, Visibility and Serenity

2009-09-21T21:28:00.000-07:00

Paradiso (LA, California, 2009)

So far, my favorite photo.

It offers you peacefulness.

The photographer and her two brothers.

The photographer with her i-don't-care-what-my-hair-looks-like hairstyle and a green scarf standing beside the rocks that unveil a beautiful sunrise.

Withered Flower

2009-09-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

Funny that life could change in just five minutes.

I knew this girl way back elementary days. The gorgeous one. Her hair is as soft as silk and brown as wood. Her skin is smooth and milky white. The very attractive and pleasing aura of this young girl captures everyone's eyes and hearts.

She was my friend. She loves to send me a lot of letters to which I rarely replied to simply because I can't write a decent one. My penmanship is bad and my stationery looks like trash. I'm the tomboy, remember? yes, even at an early age I acted different from all the other girls. Every after class they would go out to photo shops to have their pictures taken.

She's that talented girl. She's my co-performer looking back on my singing career. She's not just my friend but she's also my enemy. The rivalry they believed existed because I was given the role of a rich girl and she was given the role of the poor one to which people added fuel to the fire and resulted to her crying and me, evil as ever. From that day on, like all kid wars, people build alliances and condemn whoever has the weaker team. I would never forget how I have played my antagonist role so well that it made me and her eventually part ways. We realized that it's for the best. to just part ways.

Although I knew I had already apologized for my misdeeds, it really created a scar that still reminds her of the friendship turned sour and still kept her distance away from me.

Since she moved to another school, I lose all connections and never really got to hear any news about her. I never intended to add her in all my social networking sites. Even though the war has ended, I still can't get over with my pride. I admit it. judge me people, i don't care. It was always her who do the first move. And a part of me says, she still that kind friend I had.

One unfortunate afternoon, I thought I was about to read another trash text. I was wrong. It was about Keith. Keith Ballesteros. I couldn't believe. This must be some kind of a joke, I thought. But this is something so serious and nothing to laugh about. Until I realized that it is all true.

Keith was killed brutally inside her dorm by thieves. She was murdered.

She's gone. I can never see her again. Be with her again. or even say sorry to her again. She's gone and she's never coming back. And why that way? So harsh. So cruel. For a girl who's just turning 18 this month. why?

I do not know what I feel. All I know is that I'm sad and hurt. I carry this heavy burden on my chest and I dunno how or when I can let this out. I can't cry. It's not because I'm strong, it's because I'm weak and I'm not sure if I can, control myself from feeling too much pain. I can't read your letters. I just don't have the courage to see myself crying. or I can't even accept the fact that you're really gone. I keep denying it.

Keith, It's so sad. This is so tragic. It still haunts me. I can not brag that we became that very best friends. Now it's all done. We never should have wasted our time for petty things.

Now the flower had already withered.

"Goodbye Keith. It is so unfortunate. I won't be able to see you again. I offer you my prayers. I still can't accept the fact that I lost you. A friend. And why this way? It's too soon. Too early. We will miss you and that is for sure. You're in God's loving arms now, I know. Take care."

I hope that justice would soon prevail.

In my heart, you always live.

Carpe Diem

2009-09-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

Expect this post to be a long one. Would you mind if I start with August 25, 2009? of course, not. But If you mind, I'm sorry but I don't care. I'm the blogger. HA-HA. just read okay, just read. ha-ha.

August 25, 2009

My friend's birthday! Julie Anne Ocfemia, Happy birthday!

August 30, 2009

Sunny day. Early morning. Had gone to church. Took a cab. Stepped on a poop. and wonder, where the hell did I got that? I was invited by my churchmates to attend to our youth fellowship under a new pastor. Men, the last one was years ago. So there, I was with my cousin and I acted like I'm such smart kid. Hello, nobody's brave enough to answer the pastor's questions so I was the one who always raise her hands up in the air. Wish it was as easy as it is in school.

That afternoon I went to my bestfriend's house to practice cotillion for her debut. I went to Katrina's house to FETCH her, duh, like I'm her alalay, and meet up with other friendly friends. So there, Gab fetched as with his wheels, like woah, this little guy could drive a van, and we proceeded to Helen's crib.

That day was really disappointing. I was left to dance with no one! I mean, my partner just said at the last minute that he can't go. So what's wrong with you huh? I shoudn't have gone if only I knew you'll not be there. My time was wasted, you know? ano ka special? And all my friends showed their two thumbs down.

August 31, 2009

My review day or should I say my cramming day. I'm trying to review Busorga but a lot of things keep intruding my mind so I felt like BUSORGA would have to wait for tomorrow. I also did my ACTPACO folder. My effort isn't that a hundred percent like what I had exerted on ACTBAS1 and ACTBAS2 folders. I just realized that it was a crap. and I should do this in order for me to reach my 85% requirement. Damn it. So tired with Accounting.

September 1, 2009

I went to school as early as I could. Lasalle, 2nd floor, study hall. Yay, I need to see Gabby sporting his grade-schooler-hair cut. So after his BUSMATH test, we had lunch. Actually we just bought lunch and brought it in the study hall so I could review or we could review. ha-ha. It's not really advisable to have some good looking guy beside you while studying. You can't focus. You really struggle to focus with your book yet you can't resist the temptation to just stare at the guy next to you. really. No, it's not Gabby. It's the guy on the other table. Ha-ha. kiddin'.

Okay, the supposed to be study time wasn't really dedicated for studying. Apparently, Gabby discovered that it's more interesting to talk about sports, particularly soccer, than reading a bunch of BUSORGA goobledygook. I agree, even though I'm not a fan of sports.

The test? sooo long. but, I think I did well.

So Gab agreed to have dinner with me since he have no test for tomorrow while poor me, I have actpaco and finman. The food was good naman. I do not have to go in details naman diba? ha-ha.

September 2, 2009

Angelo Gabriel Rene De Dios' birthday! Happy Birthday! :)

Of course, I greeted him at exactly twelve but screw Globe, he received it late! There is no way I could greet him in person so there, I asked him if he would treat Elai and I and he said no. ha-ha.
Thanks Gab. ha-ha.

Very unfortunate of us, our proctor for ACTPACO is no other than Ms. Velasco! cheers! Okay, it just contributes to the tension, really. BAS1 days. Of all people, why, why?? There's the paper. Goodluck.

After that very depressing, frustrating test, we decided to eat it away. Had lunch somewhere. Then did not even bother to review for FINMAN1. Still do not know where our room is. Then we met our friends. Asked them where is miss and yea, we took the test like hell.

My finals are all done. Gab told me he was cooking pasta. I love pastas. I said I'd love to taste it and yea, he saved a part of the spicy, mushroom-filled pasta for me. sweet.

September 3, 2009

Maria Alyanna Lazaro's Birthday! Happy Birthday!

Well, I do not really have an exam for this day but I think I should go for some reasons. he-he. Elai and I planned to watch Kimmy Dora, yes cheap I super know right, but who cares really I want to watch it badly. just for laughs, you know. just to be happy. Gabby did not like the idea, though. He finds it cheap. ha-ha. Conyo kasi.

So I was with Gabby the whole morning. He brought the Pasta as promised. I asked him if we could go buy coffee and he agreed. So there, we had a sort of a picnic. ha-ha. His pasta was YUM! :) I love it. Although, it's really spicy. I'm so makalat kumain pa.

Then, Gab lend me a book. It's entitled After Dark. Intriguing book, really. So I started reading it na with the coffee beside me, which was stirred by Gab so it would taste good. While he study his Econ notes. What's weird is that he keeps on looking while i drink my coffee. ka-conscious lang ah! I would just say 'bakit??' then I would turn his head back to his papers. ha-ha.

Gab, again, reminisced his Engineering days for the reason that we face his holy building, Velasco hall. Course card days. ha-ha. I do not really want to recall those heartbreaking days. They so ruined my life. well, not quite. just a bit. ha-ha. Taught me the hard way. Blood and tears. Professors could be so heartless :) Because they've been there.

It was because of the aircon that both of us agreed to change our study place. the library, where else? I continue to read the intriguing book and he continue with his work. For a moment, there was this uncontrollable feeling that I want to hug him. Of course, I shouldn't but I just want to feel he's still there even though he's physically not there or not beside me. I paused and stared at the guy next to me. He asked me why. Wish I could speak out the words, no? Pero I said nothing. well, It's nothing. I just missed you. Who needs words, It just have to be felt.

It's almost two. He have to meet up with his friends and so I was left on the corner to read again. ha-ha. Marc asked me where I was. I said I was at the library but really I have no intention of meeting someone at the moment. I'm so caught up with the book. I then received Elai's text if we should push through pa with the movie, I said I hella want to. Pero we wasted a lot of time trying to decide where so we ended up making tambay na lang sa LS and chikka about our scheds next term. And oh yes, before we part ways we ate muna in some burger shop. I forgot the name. The burgers remind of US burgers. big! YUM!

Gab told me he's in MCDO eating with his friend. Actually, I passed by MCDO and saw Dean, the cute guy. But I did not saw him. I do not want to make epal pa, diba? So, I just made my way to the LRT.

I went to my dentist to have my wires adjusted. He asked me what color do i want? I picked red. I wonder why.

Heartbreaking, Indeed

2009-09-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

I do not write to brag my success. I write because i failed and I'm proud. Failure makes you feel like you're a total waste. No, I don't want to hear any comfort at all. I did this. I have expected it. I was not afraid at first because I know I can handle it but slowly, digesting the fact that you failed, it hurts you. or not you, but your pride. And yea, I knew accounting loved me so much it does not want me to let him go. See you Third term, I'll make sure I'll kick your ass off.

As much as I would like to express how bad I feel with my grade, I can't because it's just a waste of time.

You're Delusional

2009-09-07T02:06:00.000-07:00

The bottom line

Someone wrote something very sweet. Open your email and find a love letter in there.

In detail

You've never been especially fond of idle chatter. It's not that you don't like chatting with friends. You just don't like wasting your time on conversation that means nothing at all. In fact, you don't like participating in anything that doesn't have a meaningful ending. You've been dealing with that type of thing for days and you're tired of it, but there's light at the end of this tunnel now, and you know it -- the kind that will actually show you something.

I knew it.

2009-09-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

My horoscope for the day

The Bottom Line

Keep puzzling it out while you wait for clarity. Bewildered? It's all hazy now.

In Detail

Sometimes to get yourself together, you have to allow yourself to go to pieces first. Sounds puzzling? Well, it can be. If the solution or the root of a problem has been eluding you, it's time to dismantle all the parts that make up the whole and examine each of them separately before you try to build some kind of coalition or solution. That way, you can identify where the issue is and really fix things, as opposed to applying merely a temporary solution.

Now That You're The Contents of My Heart

2009-08-30T07:42:00.000-07:00

so, I guess I should post this anyway.

I should have known. There's much I would like to say. Much I would like to rant, to demand, to ask and to hope for. But, this is not a reality. It's a fiction. You need something that you can't have. you can't have it because it's not real. It's something you imagined. your mind had created.

I have expected long before it had started. I know. I've been there. and now, going back there. Love? I do not know how to love. I do not love. I do not feel pain. Much as I would like to turn this statement into truth, I can't. This is pathetic.

I would love to play my guitar for you. I'll sing too. But, It does not sound appealing anymore. I know. This world, imagination. no, no. you can't be true. After all, if you are true then you would not stay for long. I do not know why I bother this much. I should not be.

I need patience. not care. It's because I'm not patient and you have to be. No, I do not demand you. After all, friends do care as much as they care for their other friends. No, It's not wrong, I know. What do I expect anyway?

I'm not in the right state of mind. I was slapped hard by depression. This is insanity. The fact that I want to be in your company it is because I'm afraid to be alone. But you're making me feel alone! you're even adding to my emotional baggage. I want your company because I feel like YOU ARE MY SANCTUARY. but, yes, of course. you're an imagined image, you'll leave like what I have expected. Thanks.

I can't simply put into words what I feel at this very moment.

you can't understand? well, it is your problem. not mine.

now let us move on, shall I?

A Midsummer Night's Dream

2009-08-30T08:23:00.001-07:00

This was written a month ago in a yellow sheet of paper full of erasures. I do not know the ending but I'm sure it's still crap.

[reminds me of the time when I experience chills in three consecutive days because of high fever and no one takes care of me because I'm imprisoned in my dorm. I survived the chills and so I thought I wouldn't.]

Okay. so what was I talking about? Meteors and Diamonds? Yea, right. Seems like I'm bringin drama and emo-ness to my site. I realized, I have to write because I have to, not for you, but for me, for my own sake. I'm selfish. You better be, too.

*** Yesterday, we weren't able to go to church because our driver did not show up. It was a lousy day. I just decided to sleep away my annoyed feelings thinking I can't do anything about it. ***

I had two intakes of BIOGESIC at the same time. I panicked that I may get overdosed. I also discovered that my Grandmother's house was turned into a high-tech horror house updated with the latest gadgets of horror and ugly plants. Unvoloptuos food and weird vampire-like visitors came at the dead of the night and I know no one. Somebody smiled at me and I stared at her. She's wearing a black dress with laces that covers up to her smooth white neck. She's a fifty year old woman with class, red lips and blonde hair. She exposed her two sharp pointed fangs and I realized, I'm dead.

I woke up with a start.

My phone rang to madness and I shook it off. I went back to sleep only to wake up again by another vibration from my mini phone. What now? It was a text message from Elai asking me if I was already awake. It took me ten minutes to finally get into my senses and replied, "kakagising ko lang. Breffy?" She told me that she just want to meet up and we could have breffy if i'm up for it. I replied a resounding, "sure".

It was a wild weather. We reached La Salle with our pants soaking wet. My shoes, oh God, my shoes. They'll be lucky if they would be able to survive until tomorrow. Once again, I blame it on Elai's white shorts. That cursed shorts!

The series of unfortunate events. How lucky we are. Imagine, Pumila kami sa photocopying machine. 30 minutes and above kami naghintay. This is so not me. I did not tolerate my impatience and waited. Isang buong book yata yung pinaphotocopy ng nauna. Hello, pagpila namin duon, hindi na kami umabante. Andun lang kami. Slow progress or no progress at all. Pagdating sa amin, ang sabi samin, "Miss, sa iba na lang kayo. Sira na eh." Ang galing, galing. You know what I said? "yon!" with putok hand gesture pa. The hell. Annoyed? Effin' yea! Never thought that jokes happen in real life. Never thought it would happen to us. FML.

Eh, BOSCONIAN kasi!

2009-08-26T07:06:00.000-07:00

'Chuck Bass' skinny jeans still haunts me! please, I'm not really a fashion guru especially with guys but I'm much distracted and disturbed with his 'new' style. ha-ha.

***

I am Frank, but my name is not Frank Sinatra.

You know, that statement is so funny for me. it just proves how shallow I am but the fact it came from a professor who knows nothing [ah, well he knows about slopes, job shop, polc and management chever and the like] but rant, lecture about family house-keeping [which is way far from business organization], gave out unending sermons to students and constantly pointing his finger to a guy named 'david' [who unfortunately sits to the chair adjacent to the professor] is somewhat surprising. I do not know if it really was his humor or it's really his sarcasm that he tried to make it as a humor. so labo.

This professor really needs to thank me for dedicating such a very intellectual evaluation post for him. On our first encounter with this Busorga prof, i thought he was something different, yes, he is actually extraordinary.

As for this post, i would not want to make it sound like i was ranting about him because all along I realized that my rantings would really not matter because it would not be heard and he would still talk about the spinal column and the cheesy war films and oh, Gloria's $20,000 dinner as long as he wants to and whenever he felt the urge to spill it out even in the middle of the discussion about planning and organizing.

He was such a very interesting professor. I'm not sure if it really was his way on getting his student's attention or he really is just that tired old lonely man who needs to save his stories from the grave.

***

So I keep on bugging I-lai to make a facebook account that I assume would be deleted as soon as Ilai's mood dictates it. It doesn't matter. as long as I have her as my slave and make her suckerpunch the obssessed maniac on the head and also, the social climber.

***

Jake's pride tastes so bad as unearthed spaghetti sauce topped in worm-like pastas. eew. you really should work with your pride. Although I get Elai's pride, but yours? it's simply unjustifiable. Just because i'm your EX, it doesn't mean you have to treat me like trash or worse, make me your gossip topic. hello, your a guy, unless your part of the gossip girls then my suspicions were right.

***

There could be many reasons on why you're staying up so late in the evening or why you really do not feel like waking up in a very early morning. Subjects that are really useless do not deserve to cut your deep comfy sleep. hello.

***

Elai and I just tried a new coffee shop. Pictures will follow.
So, I should post an Up experience right? pass! I want to feel like i'm on twitter now! :))

***

Gabby treated Elai and I with drunch [dinner and lunch]. Provided that it was cheap, he could always treat us for drunch. So, again. Gabby seemed so disturbed with Elai's travel and brought back the topic every after five minutes accompanied by the annoying statement [that still rangs in my head] "Bosconian kasi!". Okay, Gabby i know. ha-ha. It just ended when I said that "I'm so tired! ang sakit na ng tenga ko sa kasasabi mo ng bosconian na yan."and Elai, with much agreement, added "ay, ikaw din pala kat?".

It was also our first time to discover a human being who hadn't experienced the magic, repeat the maaaagic, of the enchanted kingdom. woah. We pitied Gabby for not being able to feel the dirty, greasy, eew-yucky, dark, dirty, dirty waters of Jungle-log jam and Rio Grande Rapids, the verrry windy and scary top of wheel of fortune and the profane-worthy and deadly space shuttle. What a kid. :)) Should I use your statement? eh, bosconian kasi!

We invited Gabby for a tour in the Enchanted Kingdom during term break. And he agreed half-heartedly. Maybe, he was expecting that it would be a total ambush. Two girls. One guy, who constantly says that he's sexy. How was that?

***

Once again, it was very unlucky for Elai to be the example of her very favorite teacher in computer. Once again, she complained about why our professor always makes her a bad example. i should have told her, eh bosconian ka kasi! [Gabby's tone].

***

Lastly, I have watched a video about Gabby who made his impromptu speech about plastics in the society. Sorry Gab, I can't help but laugh. ha-ha-ha. sorry, can't get over. Especially the part wherein you said that you experienced being with girls acting so plastic and you perfectly imitated their tones. ha-ha. and the ending part wherein you suggest to pick plastics because it could help you whenever but sorry Gab, I won't pick plastics no. ha-ha. And to finally close your speech, you said with a sales man attitude, "HAVE A PLASTIC DAY!". Should I wear plastic clothes or pick plastics along the way to experience a very plastic day? ha-ha.

By the way, you looked awesome.

***

Sleep tight, Russell.

2009-08-22T04:17:00.000-07:00

I've thought about making a post about this. About what had happened yesterday that still haunts me up until today or until tomorrow or maybe, until next next week?

So there, yesterday I attended my make up class for ACTPACO [Accounting for Partnership and Corporation]. Elai did not show up so I thought she would also cut our make-up class for COMP2FI [a total insult for us who took COMP1AC]. I planned to cut it also since, I do not want to hear our professor's voice that always makes me feel so drowsy. He got to change his voice for the sake of me, please. You see, I would like to cut all my make up classes as much as I would like to drink coffee with cream. In accounting, I'm so tired of worksheets, debits and credits while in COMP2FI, I'm so tired of the professor, yes, because of him alone.

Excuse me, if you would tell me that your accounting class is a bliss, then it's because you're not from my school. Accounting in La Salle is a different story.

Finishing the one hour with accounting is like a bird freed from a cage and finally going back to its natural habitat. I was shocked [as always] to see Elai walking towards me. She was late due to the unpredictable traffic in her place. As usual, I asked her if she wanted to eat brunch because I'm so dead hungry. Yey, we did. Guess where? Jollibee! :)) for those who are kid at heart and always be kid at heart. Ha-ha.

We waited for the free snacks to be given. So, we decided to sit on one of the benches in LS. Guess who I saw, not a big walking cotton candy, but him. It was a surprise and I was shocked [as always, again]. It was really unexpected. He told me he wouldn't be going in school, so I did not raised my hopes of seeing him on that day. I see, his purpose for the day is to have his business case photocopied and watch his friends playing. Not me, of course. Ha-ha. That was way ambitious.

I asked him if he would like to join us in our class since the prof was really lenient and he wouldn't mind sit-ins. I expected a 'no' for an answer and he said yes, talking about being a pessimist. For the first time, COMP2FI is fun. Of course not because of the prof but because of the company I have. My mind is totally blank at the moment, I really dunno why. I think it's his fault. The three of us laughed to death after realizing that the exercise is totally useless and have not got any point. Imagine, increasing the width of the column then after, you have to lessen it again. Adding a column then deleting it again. So how was that? Included laugh-scenes is when Elai said 'kat, grabe walang kwenta talaga!' and I just ignored her for I knew that our professor is just at her back! and the 'sir, kaya na naming dalawa to' only to find out that the supposed to be project for four people was so effin' long!

After the 'joke' exercise, we made our way to SPS! Just to suffice the craving of elai for a cold, sweet something. Okay, it was a surprise that Gabby had not even tasted the famous ice cream in SPS and I called him the loser. He had always been the loser, probably because he's stuck in Velasco in his whole first year. Ha-ha. Now, feel the fun in CBE! With us. or I mean, with me? Ha-ha-ha! kiddin'.

Moving on, we watched the concert for the nation stuff. On our way, I introduced him to my friend, Joseph. I really wasn't planning to introduce him but the way seph look at him and me is like saying 'who are you??? who is he, kat??' and I'm not sure if he's looking at Seph, the same way. Ha-ha. So there, we sat next to each other and things turned out not like what I have expected. At the middle of the concert, Elai decided to go home and so we went with her. Bought beverages and the two of us got back to school.

It was really fun. I was laughing with him the whole program. I even told him that Marasigan really looked like John Lloyd [our prof in Tred]. And how I wish Eraserheads would make a comeback and play on our school. Then he turned my dreams down and said it would be very much unlikely. Ha-ha.

After the concert, we decided to go to Andrew's 15th floor. Just to witness and admire the sunset. repeat, just to witness and admire him...no, the sunset. Ha-ha. I was talking to him about a lot of things and it was a surprise that he opened up things about himself too. It was a nice talk, by the way. He even showed a picture of his favorite painting. I was shocked, you know. It was also my favorite painting. Copy cat! The scream. We really have a common interest. We talked about arts, literature and nature. Oh, and even sports. Jv Casio, for instance. Ha-ha. I never thought he would break a family thing to me. I mean, I'm not supposed to know it because it's too personal but he never hesitated to answer so I continued to asked him.

It was getting darker. The clouds, they're covering the sun. Maybe it wasn't the right time. Maybe the sun wants us to get a good view of her, like nearer. So we just observed the skies. It was also our common interest. The skies. The abode of the angels. It was a pleasing sight. It was nice to meet someone who's an avid fan of God's creations.

I tried to tie his loooong hair. He allowed me, but just for a minute, i think. So guys really do not want someone to mess up their hair? ha-ha. He tried to tie my hair with the red band, but it wasn't a good one. He doesn't know how! ha-ha. There, we did a little more talking and when the sun was already gone we finally decided to go home. It was on the elevator that I witnessed a very nice sight. The elevator's back was made of glass, so you could see the buildings and their lights at night. It was very BEAUTIFUL. and you know, the fact that I was with him looking into a view of those pretty lights, was awkward but at the same time, breath-taking. So it wasn't bad not to see the sun at all.

As we were about to cross, [and really I have no intention of crossing alone] he asked me "pwede bang tumawid?" ha-ha. sorry. So there, when we were crossing he reached out his hand to me. I think it was just my pinky who touched his. and eventually, he let go of it.

So it was my day, yesterday.
Thanks for the company gabby and also, elai.
You really surprised me. Really.

Who's russell? guess who.

I'll post tomorrow my Up experience :)

Moonlight Sonata

2009-08-18T05:57:00.000-07:00

The experience I had in the Manila Youth Reception Center was a tiring yet memorable one. Although the people welcomed us warmly, the environment still airs its forbidding atmosphere. Of course, I didn't know these people and they could cause harm if they feel provoked so, as a sign of respect and sincerity, I just sat quietly on the corner and listened to what the facilitator have to say.

As our activity for the day, we decided to have a film showing for the boys. They choose a horror movie entitled the orphanage. They told us that the movie was a good one but they were not able to understand it because it was an English movie. What they enjoyed most were the snacks that we bought for them. We're satisfied that at least we were able to make them feel happy just by our own simple and small ways.

Our next film would be for the girls, they choose a romantic Filipino movie. We got a technical glitch and we end up discussing our participants' lives. To get to know people from different walks of life is indeed the most interesting part because we have to show openness and acceptance to those people we are talking to. They have told us some revelations and it was a bit shocking. They told us that they were innocent and some say it was their first time. We asked questions on how they were able to cope up with their environment and if there is somehow a progress in their cases. Some say that they would still wait for years and someone told me that her case would depend entirely on her lawyer who was absent in the last two hearings.

I was saddened by the fact that these people, innocent or not, have one common reason to engage in illegal and unlawful acts and that is poverty. I could relate this experience with what we have discussed in Freedom and Morality. These people have exercised their freedom as a human person; however, they have out phase the limits of nature and end up being morally wrong.

As a student, we can’t bail them out or pay attorneys to attend to them but we made sure that we have expressed our love and sympathy for our brothers and sisters. I believe that the people we have met in the rehabilitation center needs companionship and acceptance aside from mattresses and toiletries.

I would be very glad if we have touched even just one soul after we conducted our activity. After all, hearing their thank you’s and receiving a letter with a home made soap is more than enough to let us know that our effort is much appreciated. Indeed, no one is born a bad soul. It was just a wrong choice of path.

When you know you can't have him

2009-08-17T03:21:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about something but I couldn't fathom what exactly it is. I was looking at this guy and I didn't know why should I. He's not even looking at me. Ha-ha. I'm currently trying to listen to my BUSORGA professor. I have mentioned him in my past posts. The sudden shift of topics is the only way he got my attention. From Break-even analysis to predictions and once again, the corrupt goverment. The $20,000 dinner that seemed to be the hottest news all over Philippines and probably, in the United States. But that would be for another ranting.

I just browsed Jessica Zafra's blog and felt envious for all the books she purchased costing her less than 120 pesos each! That's precious. I got weak in my knees. wew.

***

I watched Letran Vs. San Sebastian with my bestfriend, Helen. It is where I met this guy who said that I looked interesting. That was a little flattering. And then he added, I was weird. Yes, yes I know. Ever since, I am the weirdo. And from that time on, he would never fail to text or chat me. And so I thought I'm a weirdo, huh?

Moreover, I want him to just be my friend. He's welcome.

***

Hey what is wrong with freedom of speech?! Joshua and I and almost everyone in the community shares the same sentiments. This org really is exaggerating their email blasts. And Joshua got stupid, insulting names just because he speak out? what's wrong with you? You asked them to act professionally but how about you? freak.

***

No. I know this is the end of everything. I know. I'll leave you alone, I swear.

The Strong Late President

2009-08-01T03:00:00.000-07:00

She's dead. Funny that it's only yesterday that I blogged about her then now, she's gone. I've never been a fan of Cory Aquino but judging by the way the public reacts after the terrible news, she's an everyone's favorite. I heard that she made a lot of great things for this country and she succeeded not only reaching out for this country's needs but also reaching out to each and every Filipino's heart. That's truly a remarkable deed by the late president.

Whenever she goes on air, I felt obliged to listen to what she has to say. I thought to myself, this lady is so wonderful and I admire the wisdom, courage and strength she possess.

I sympathize with all the millions of people who mourn her death. Indeed, we lost someone so valuable.

Yesterday, I had mentioned that Tita Cory badly needs a rest. Today, she received the rest she deserve. Things are getting too fast, I can hardly catch up.

As the woman in yellow bids goodbye, we mourn. I feel sad because I am a part of this. I waved goodbye to a person I do not personally knew but felt like it, for the reason that I received a love that is so motherly and I've felt I've lost someone so great as my mother.

We mourn for we lost a soul that symbolizes courage and strength.
We mourn because we lost a person who once gave this country a hope and a dream.
Kudos and adieu.

***

That morning, before I even opened my eyes, I knew she already passed away.

I heard reporters asking Mr. Noynoy on why did the family Aquino choose the LSGH-gym/chapel. He answered that the place had always been a witness to almost all the events that occured in the life of the late president. Moreover, someone asked a something and he answered, "Kasi I'm from the other school eh, so I do not know about that" accompanied by a short laugh. And for the rest of the day, it was stucked in my mind. I just realized that the Aquino family [although not entirely but almost] were Ateneans.

Lonely Road, Lonely Man

2009-07-31T03:14:00.000-07:00

Blue Skies
It was a pretty sight. I never expected to witness another beautiful sunset on my way home. After admiring the scene, I slouched at the back seat of the car and closed my eyes. Sunset...I am yet to see another sunset in a different form.

Tita Cory, The Yellow Ribbons, Rallies and Pecking Duck
You probably saw one of those yellow ribbons tied on posts and wherever-it-is-possible all over Manila.

One rainy afternoon, our driver fetched me on my dorm to go to mom's office in Binondo. As I was making myself comfortable at my seat, my driver blurted the words 'ay sus'! Of course, the normal reaction of people around a person who cry out such words would ask him the word 'why?'. He then need not to answer as I gawk outside the car window. There was an on-going rally. Rally means traffic. We're trap. For him it was total disappointment, for me it was total entertainment. Amazing. I took my phone and I made sure that I wouldn't let this pass.

They give away papers. I asked the driver to get me some and he comply. You know what they did? They asked us coins. Duon na nagsimula ang usapang rally.

"Wala na naman silang magawa. May magbabago ba kung magrally sila ng ganyan. Nagpapagod lang sila" uttered by him. "Galing pa yan ng mga probinsya. Dumayo lang talaga sila dito para lang sa libreng pakain".

"I bet some of them do not even know what they are really fighting for, save the iskolar ng bayan's with them who looked very exhausted with all the walking", I replied.

"Pag tinanong mo kung ano bang mayroon sa Cha-Cha ang sagot lang nila ay Charter Change maliban duon, wala na", he affirmed.

As we reached Central, I noticed yellow ribbons tied all over the place. I asked again manong driver. He said it is to show support for Tita Cory. oh yes, how could I have forgotten that yellow belongs to Cory Aquino. yes, of course, not yellow cab. If these people love tita cory then bring her back to the president's seat. But ladies and gentleman, that would be an impossible dream. Cory needs a rest. She needs it badly.

You waiting for the Pecking duck part? It was when my mom asked me If I was hungry that I realized that I am starving. I requested for a pecking duck in any of those authentic chinese tea houses and I got what I wished for from Yin Ying Tea House.

Note In The Chapel
I prayed. I just need to pray. Imagining my struggle for the day. To overcome two sure-fail quizzes. I can not do it alone. So I asked him, to help me. And so I prayed. I decided to lit a candle. And I found a note resting on top of the candle holder. It was folded into half and there are words written at the corner of the yellow paper in a tiny print handwriting using blue ink. It said "Pray This". Feeling of nosiness came up to me, I said I need to read this. It was a short prayer accompanied by a simple request to leave nine other notes to nine other chapels to grant your wish. Apparently, someone need God's help badly. Goodluck to you, sweetheart.

We Love Cookie Monster
Berting and I decided to have dinner at Teriyaki Boy. I forced him to eat using chopsticks and still end up using the fork and spoon tandem. We laughed after discovering that we have cookie monster on our shirts. how cute. I accused him of copy-cat-ing my shirt. After our dinner, he bought a sin stick and borrowed someone else's to lit up his. I was shocked at how easy it was for him to borrow a stick and how it was not a big deal with the guy to lend his considering they are both strangers in their own worlds.

Love me, hate me. What you want about me?

2009-07-31T02:07:00.000-07:00

The Bottom Line

You're no blabbermouth, so when confidential news hits your ears today, hush up!

In Detail

Jump right in to an intimidating situation today -- and prove to yourself that you can do whatever you decide to do. You should immediately take control -- don't worry, no one around you is going to mind. In fact, a lot of people are curious to hear what you have to say. They have been talking about you and are quite eager to see what you can accomplish. So why not show them? You will be very glad you took the chance -- and took the control.

Being normal?

2009-07-29T04:10:00.000-07:00

Paulo Coelho is truly amazing. Those lines are from The winner stands alone: A novel.

Normal is:

1. Anything that makes us forget who we are and what we want; that way we can work in order to produce, reproduce, and earn money.

2. Setting out rules for waging war (the Geneva Convention).

3. Spending years studying at university only to find out at the end of it all that you're unemployable.

4. Working from nine till five every day at something that gives you no pleasure just so that, after thirty years, you can retire.

5. Retiring and discovering that you no longer have enough energy to enjoy life and dying a few years out of sheer boredom.

6. Using Botox.

7. Believing that power is much more important than money and that money is much more important than happiness.

8. Making fun of anyone who seeks happiness rather than money and accusing them of "lacking ambition."

9. Comparing objects like cars, houses, clothes, and defining life according to those comparisons, instead of trying to discover the real reason for being alive.

10. Never talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about the neighbors.

11. Believing that your parents are always right.

12. Getting married, having children, and staying together long after all love has died, saying that it's for the good of the children (who are, apparently, deaf to the constant rows).

12a. Criticizing anyone who tries to be different.

14. Waking up each morning to a hysterical alarm clock on the bedside table.

15. Believing absolutely everything that appears in print.

16. Wearing a scrap of colored cloth around your neck, even though it serves no useful purpose, but which answers to the name of "tie."

17. Never asking a direct question, even though the other person can guess what it is you want to know.

18. Keeping a smile on your lips even when you're on the verge of tears. Feeling sorry for those who show their feelings.

19. Believing that art is either worth a fortune or worth nothing at all.

20. Despising anything that was easy to achieve because if no sacrifice was involved, it obviously isn't worth having.

21. Following fashion trends, however ridiculous or uncomfortable.

22. Believing that all famous people have tons of money saved up.

23. Investing a lot of time and money in external beauty and caring little about internal beauty.

24. Using every means possible to show that, although you're just an ordinary human being, you're far above other mortals.

25. Never looking anyone in the eye when you're traveling on public transport, in case it's interpreted as a sign that you're trying to get off with them.

26. Standing facing the door in an elevator and pretending you're the only person there, no matter how crowded it is.

27. Never laughing too loudly in a restaurant no matter how good the joke.

28. In the northern hemisphere, always dressing according to the season: bare arms in spring (however cold it is) and woolen jacket in winter (however hot it is).

29. In the southern hemisphere, covering the Christmas tree with fake snow even though winter has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.

30. Assuming, as you grow older, that you're the guardian of the world's wisdom, even if you haven't necessarily lived enough to know what's right and wrong.

31. Going to a charity tea party and thinking that you've done your bit toward putting an end to social inequity in the world.

32. Eating three times a day even if you're not hungry.

33. Believing that other people are always better than you--better-looking, more capable, richer, more intelligent--and that it's very dangerous to step outside your own limits, so it's best to do nothing.

34. Using your car as a weapon and impenetrable armor.

35. Swearing when in heavy traffic.

36. Believing everything your child does wrong is entirely down to the company he or she keeps.

37. Marrying the first person who offers you a decent position in society. Love can wait.

38. Always saying, "I tried" when you didn't really try at all.

39. Postponing doing the really interesting things in life for later, when you don't have the energy.

40. Avoiding depression with large daily doses of television.

41. Believing that you can be sure of everything you've achieved.

42. Assuming that women don't like football and that men aren't intersted in home decorating and cooking.

43. Blaming the government for all the bad things that happen.

44. Thinking that being a good, decent, respectable person will mean that others will see you as weak, vulnerable, and easy to manipulate.

45. Being equally convinced that aggression and rudeness are synonymous with having a "powerful personality."

46. Being afraid of having an endoscopy (if you're a man) and giving birth (if you're a woman).

he's on the other line, happy and laughing

2009-07-27T04:20:00.000-07:00

I had fun watching the SONA, 2009. PGMA is a witty president. If not for your corrupt officials, your administration would be a great one.

Lines from the SONA of PGMA, 2009:

- I did not become President to be popular. To work, to lead, to protect and preserve our country, our people, that is why I became President.

- Some say that after this SONA, it will be all politics. Sorry, but there’s more work….

- Taxes should come from alcohol and tobacco and not from books. Tax hazards to lungs and livers, do not tax minds.

- one of them Mylene Amerol-Macumbal, finished Accounting at MSU-IIT, went to law school, and placed second in the last bar exams–the first Muslim woman bar topnotcher. [tindig balahibo ko dito]

- I know that this is not a sacrifice joyfully borne. This is work where it can be found—in faraway places, among strangers with different cultures. It is lonely work, it is very hard work…. [She's pertaining to OFWs] Kaya nagsisikap tayong lumikha ng mga trabahong maganda ang bayad dito sa atin so that overseas work will just be a career choice, not the only option for a hardworking Filipino in search of a better life…

- In these two internal conflicts, ang tanong ay hindi, “Sino ang mananalo?” kundi, bakit ba kailangang mag-away ang kapwa Pilipino tungkol sa mga isyu na alam ng dalawang panig over issues na malulutas naman sa paraang demokratiko...There is nothing more that I would wish for than peace in Mindanao.

- The noisiest critics of constitutional reform tirelessly and shamelessly attempted Cha-Cha when they thought they could take advantage of a shift in the form of government. Now that they feel they cannot benefit from it, they oppose it.

- Everything right can be undone by even a single wrong. Every step forward must be taken in the teeth of political pressures and economic constraints that could push you two steps back-if-you flinch and falter.. I have not flinched, I have not faltered.

- [Her critics] They are frightened by their own shadows…

- My critics call it dictatorship. I call it determination…

- I say to them [to her critics] : do not tell us what we all know, that democracy can be threatened. Tell us what you will do when it is attacked…

- I am falsely accused, without proof, of using my office for personal profit. Many of those who accuse me of it have lifestyles and spending habits that make them walking proofs of that crime…

- Those who live in glass houses should cast no stones. Those who should be in jail should not threaten it, especially if they have been there. [obviously, it's ERAP]

- Today the Philippines is weathering well the storm that is raging around the world. It is growing stronger with the challenge. when the weather clears, as it will, there is no telling how much farther forward it can go. Believe in it. I believe…

- ang pinakadakilang boksingero sa kasaysayan………. Mabuhay ka, Manny! [palakpak tenga ni manny]

- To those who want to be President, this advice: If you want something done, do it hard, do it well. Don’t pussyfoot. Just do it. Don’t say bad words in public. [HAHA. MAR. it's you!]

He's so gwapo :)

2009-07-21T04:46:00.000-07:00

Rainy days aren't helpful for a person who always attach the word "apathetic" after her name. Finishing a can of mug is easier than fighting short term memory and learn ratios by heart. Posting a blog post is more significant than browsing my finance notes because either way I would still fail the test. Finance wouldn't even help me...you know...him.

Sunshine is hiding from people who needs it badly. I need it badly...hmm, no not really. okay, just a bit.

Elai and I went to Glorietta to buy something for her 'migrating' friend. She ended up buying the bon-bon little memo or scrap book or what-do-you-call-that.

I tried to listen to my ACTPACO prof. I swear guys, I really tried. But since Elai and I were truly absorbed in our topic, I just saw myself doodling elai and some guy. I do not really know why Elai is my favorite masterpiece.

My day? It was fun and broke.

I realized that I only have twenty pesos left for my dinner. he-he. loser much?

Berting, stressing as ever, initiated another fight. I said I'm so tired of fixing shallow problems. I'm no perfect girlfriend. Calling him by someone else's name is truly an innocent mistake. Who would want to call her boy friend with her ex-boy friend's name? sigh. Boy friend, stressor! Now who wants a boy friend?!

FS horoscope [I'm so glad you're back, xoxo]: your time is valuable.

yes, indeed. My time is valuable. so let's cut this crap.
I'm so busy. so busy, procastinating. bye, monchitos.