it was brave but much more foolish

sorry kitty. i wasn't able to update you. :( I promise, prolly this weekend. :)
just don't get tired of waiting for me. you're my very very loyal confidante.
I have lots of things to tell you. bye for now.

FISHERMAN, It's not a good catch

Dust dust. If it would be back in to dust, we shouldn't have gathered it in the first place. dust dust, back again to dust.

***


My eyes. they tell me to sleep. to save my words for tomorrow but I can't. you know blog, err okay I'll call you kitty like what anne frank called her diary, I have so many things to tell you. I'm sorry if I had forgotten you for weeks and ages. I'm so sorry. I just can't find the right time to blog because my acads are demanding as ever.

Let me start with Ondoy. That event was so depressing. I never ever realized that such a thing would happen after a one whole day of continuous downpour of rain. It's like the end of Manila. Bayani Fernando and other unresponsible officers got kicked in their asses when the president talked in a presscon full of rage. Serves them right. Thousands of people suffered. The rich and the poor. And still, the same people who fail to do their duty have the guts to steal from the funds allocated for the Ondoy victims. YOU, ASSHOLES.

Even my beloved school was submerged into water. And it's like A(H1N1) all over again with the one-week break. hello make up classes. tss. My very enthusiastic brain became idle and started to be lazy again. I forgot everythng. wew, thanks Ondoy. People are now so panicky whenever it rains. even the lightest of rains.

***

You don't tell a person how much you love them and expect that they would believe you after. Then again, people just come and go. you're there but eventually you'll be gone. I know.

***

Helen's debut slash pool party slash dance party slash [insert whatever happened]. Itwasohsofun. I got to see my highschool friends again after a year. really. boo. some loser i am. So many things have happened. well, I just have to say it's fun and you have to define it for me.

***

I can't believe that I actually processed a leadership seminar, facilitated and became a speaker. lol. It was all for my beloved org, Writers' guild. Anyway, It's all worth it. Thanks also to all the people who helped me. I love you guys, I swear. being an officer is really stressing but FTW. Just being a responsible officer. and oh please, not an impromptu seminar again okay? :)

***

My HUMALIT is just plain BV. With all the loser scores i got. that's enough to make your day a bad one. c'mon, it's literature and it's not supposed to be this way. oh well, in my case i should be enjoying my literature class because I fuckin' love literature up to its tiny bits. well, anyway, there's this poetry recital requirement that we have to present in class with a memorized poem. HA-HA. I can't decide on what poem because i simply love everything! I ended up with Anne Sexton's A curse against Elegies. The poem is about something that's already dead or something that have already ended in the past but someone keeps on bringing it back and anne's tired of hearing the same thing again. she doesn't want it back. It has died. It's already dead. It must not come back. The past is something that we must bury. I heard that Anne Sexton is suffering from bipolar disorder due to all the depressing things that happened to her. Even though, I still love all her masterpiece. she's plain wonderful. I mean her genre is about death, sex and masturbation. A bit of mature but really interesting stuff. You should get some dose of Anne sexton.

***

A true leader gives chance to others.You already proved yourself. let him prove his.

***

I think I should go see 500 days of summer. The reviews are nice. I think I could somewhat relate. lol. like the part wherein, Summer, the girl, only loves two things: her long black hair and how she can cut it off right away without feeling anything. that's cool.

and by the way, read this. :) a bit of 500 days of summer.

McKenzie: [drunk] So do you have a boyfriend?

Summer: No.

McKenzie: Why not?

Summer: Because I don’t want one.

McKenzie: Come on; I don’t believe that.

Summer: You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy being free and independent?

McKenzie: Are you a lesbian?

Summer: [laughing] No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.

McKenzie: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Summer: Really?

McKenzie: Nope.

Summer: Ok, let me break it down for you–

McKenzie: Break it down!

Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.

McKenzie: You’re a dude. [to Tom] She’s a dude!

Tom: Ok but wait–wait. What happens, if you fall in love?

[she scoffs]

Tom: What?

Summer: You don’t believe that, do you?

Tom: It’s love, it’s not Santa Claus.

Whenever you seek me

I want to share a poem with you :) I just realized that if it's hard to find words to explain what you feel, express it through poems or songs. I found it while searching for Pablo Neruda's poems. I also found some Anne Sexton's poems and they're really beautiful. And hey, I want to greet Jerome Lingad! hello, :) I'm sort of flattered knowing that you're actually reading my blog. Do not worry, I'll update this weekly as what you have requested so that you have something to do in the web.

If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

It has been a long time my blog! i miss you :)

The Bottom Line

There's almost guaranteed to be a little mystery somewhere in the world around you.

In Detail

You have every right to your feelings, no matter what they are -- and you have every right to express them. Plus, you know how to express them better than most. You have the great ability to put things in a very tactful way, so say what you mean -- you don't have to worry about how people react. That's not your responsibility, anyway. If their feelings get hurt or they take issue with things, that's because of some issue or unresolved problem they need to deal with.

We need to help them. We have to.

*If you want to help, this is the list of Emergency Hotlines and Relief Operations around Manila or QC.

*If you're a Lasallian, visit this.

and also please read the one below.

Also, we have no classes until October 3, 2009 so please use your time to help out our countrymen.

Let us pray for everyone.
And please be safe.
Thank you.

Consortium, Visibility and Serenity

Paradiso (LA, California, 2009)

So far, my favorite photo.

It offers you peacefulness.

The photographer and her two brothers.

The photographer with her i-don't-care-what-my-hair-looks-like hairstyle and a green scarf standing beside the rocks that unveil a beautiful sunrise.

Withered Flower

Funny that life could change in just five minutes.

I knew this girl way back elementary days. The gorgeous one. Her hair is as soft as silk and brown as wood. Her skin is smooth and milky white. The very attractive and pleasing aura of this young girl captures everyone's eyes and hearts.

She was my friend. She loves to send me a lot of letters to which I rarely replied to simply because I can't write a decent one. My penmanship is bad and my stationery looks like trash. I'm the tomboy, remember? yes, even at an early age I acted different from all the other girls. Every after class they would go out to photo shops to have their pictures taken.

She's that talented girl. She's my co-performer looking back on my singing career. She's not just my friend but she's also my enemy. The rivalry they believed existed because I was given the role of a rich girl and she was given the role of the poor one to which people added fuel to the fire and resulted to her crying and me, evil as ever. From that day on, like all kid wars, people build alliances and condemn whoever has the weaker team. I would never forget how I have played my antagonist role so well that it made me and her eventually part ways. We realized that it's for the best. to just part ways.

Although I knew I had already apologized for my misdeeds, it really created a scar that still reminds her of the friendship turned sour and still kept her distance away from me.

Since she moved to another school, I lose all connections and never really got to hear any news about her. I never intended to add her in all my social networking sites. Even though the war has ended, I still can't get over with my pride. I admit it. judge me people, i don't care. It was always her who do the first move. And a part of me says, she still that kind friend I had.

One unfortunate afternoon, I thought I was about to read another trash text. I was wrong. It was about Keith. Keith Ballesteros. I couldn't believe. This must be some kind of a joke, I thought. But this is something so serious and nothing to laugh about. Until I realized that it is all true.

Keith was killed brutally inside her dorm by thieves. She was murdered.

She's gone. I can never see her again. Be with her again. or even say sorry to her again. She's gone and she's never coming back. And why that way? So harsh. So cruel. For a girl who's just turning 18 this month. why?

I do not know what I feel. All I know is that I'm sad and hurt. I carry this heavy burden on my chest and I dunno how or when I can let this out. I can't cry. It's not because I'm strong, it's because I'm weak and I'm not sure if I can, control myself from feeling too much pain. I can't read your letters. I just don't have the courage to see myself crying. or I can't even accept the fact that you're really gone. I keep denying it.

Keith, It's so sad. This is so tragic. It still haunts me. I can not brag that we became that very best friends. Now it's all done. We never should have wasted our time for petty things.

Now the flower had already withered.

"Goodbye Keith. It is so unfortunate. I won't be able to see you again. I offer you my prayers. I still can't accept the fact that I lost you. A friend. And why this way? It's too soon. Too early. We will miss you and that is for sure. You're in God's loving arms now, I know. Take care."

I hope that justice would soon prevail.

In my heart, you always live.